Summer's near end

In the actual sense, I don't mind it that much. The heat is overwhelming at times, and I love how Fall feels. If not for the start of school, that is. I'm really quite anxious about that.
I finished band camp this year. Went as expected; lonely, hot, and a little fun. Bu way.t it brings back to me the stark reality that school is only a week or so away. Lord help me, I think I'll cry when it comes. I don't want to go back there. It's almost as if everyone there has a personal grudge against me and they just want to see me die. Or maybe I just see it that way. I could be paranoid. But I don't want to go back. I'm too lazy for school. I'm to awkward for others. And you know, I was convinced I'd be dead by now. In 7th grade I doubted I'd make it to high school. Well take that, kid. Guess who's still breathing? Guess who's still doing nothing beyond that? Mhm, this girl. For now.
I don't know why. I just hate it there.

Anyhow, I guess I'll permit Fall to come this year. Here's to apple orchards, red leaves, Halloween, ghosts, jackets, full-length pants, farms, pleasant weather, and then some. It has a little while 'til it's actually here, but I can wait. I will.

-Mottled

Perth

So, I finished the picture for what I was planning. Making an Utauloid. A dragon anthro Utauloid, most importantly, and the first one I've ever tried to make. She's under the name Perth currently and I've actually got pretty far in her voicebank (English). Perth is the rune of luck, mystery, and chance; a fitting name as I'm taking a lot of guesses and I'm on foreign ground trying to create her. Having a few issues pop up here and there, but what-ev's. But yeah: I'm pretty much satisfied with how the picture turned out. We'll see how she'll actually sound later...
Here's to her success.

-Mottled

A few little words

But nothing that big, sorry. Just some things swimming around in this little head of mine.

I really like my friend. I would even go so far as to say that I love her. We've been friends for about three years now, which is fairly short I know, but it feels like our friendship as it was is already fading. I really want to talk to her about, well, about a lot of things. I guess I've sort of made her into some sort of counselor figure for myself, and I feel a little guilty for that. Heck, one could argue that the neglect I feel from not having the chance or guts to talk to her as I used to is all self inflicted and be totally right. I should recognize that she needs a chance to be with other people, and that I'm fairly boring as it is, and that others are a lot better friends, and so on. But, I digress.

What I'm trying to say is I feel pretty begotten. 

I can't shake the sense that things will only get worse in terms of my "social life" (God, the words sound so pretentious) as the next school year approaches. And with such haste it does! Summer is speeding on through as though it's a train hellbent for, um...where it is trains go when they beat it out of this "city". 

Hm...

In other news, I took it upon myself to start a little project. I hope to give word on it soon.

-Mottled

Can you read?

It's been a week, huh? Though flubbed internet is one of the reasons, I also have just been lazy. I've been feeling pretty off, too. I think I'll talk more in my next post, whenever that is. Have patience, friends. Until then, why not a scribbled poem or something...?

-Mottled
(This has just been a month for pictures, eh?)

Not good

The gash on the upper pad of my foot has turned black and is leaking some strange fluids, obviously infected, but I have nothing to treat it with besides too-big-for-their-own-good band-aids. Hurts to walk, man. It hurts.
I guess that besides that I'm doing okay. Going to take my permit test today, and between you and me I've only studied once. I'm hoping some luck and common sense will pull me through this.
...
Well, it did apparently. Now I feel like an official young lady. Why not a self portrait to celebrate?

Some might insist it's weird or too prideful to draw pictures of yourself. And screw them, 'cos I really like ot draw myself. Hmph.

-Mottled

Why are there nails in the hallway?

Band-aid save me, at least I'm up to date on my shots. Bled out a while ago, so it doesn't look all too impressive, sorry. Hope it doesn't get infected.
Oh, I also went for breakfast with my dad today. Never sure how to feel around him, but the least I can do is pretend to enjoy his company. And honestly, sometimes I do. But he can still manage to belittle us, which is just annoying and not very classy. Eh.
Have a good one, internet.

-Mottled

It comes as no suprise

Today has been rather lonely. In fact, the day before was as well. Going out on a limb, but I'm guessing tomorrow will be, also. Hm. One thing I am sure of is that I'll have to ride my bike to work tomorrow, so I hope the weather is kind.
I don't really mind riding my bike. In a way, it makes me feel a bit grown up, riding downtown and all. Though a real grown up would have a car and a license, I can pretend. Pretend I'm off in Chicago like during the band trip, or when I was a kid and went there for a vacation. I loved the place, though I think I've mentioned that before.
Sometimes I feel really inhuman, between you and me. Or rather, like I'm not in charge of my life at all, like I'm just floating through it (in a not-so-good sense of it).
I think I'll wait until 2 am or maybe 3 and then sit outside some. I like to be outside late at night alone. But that stays between you and me.

-Mottled

Just thought I'd mention...

I love the Avatar universe.
And I'm talking Avatar the Last Airbender, not the 3D movie. Just so....cool. Many feels for it. Lots.

-Mottled

You know...

The summer has changed a few things about me.

I'm tanner, first off, and less stressed. But thinking back, what was I so stressed about? Also, I'm trying to work out what is and what isn't important to me. I'm not having so many gushes of sentimental feelings, though I do feel I'm maturing nicely. But most of all, I've become a lazier than I was during  school time.

I've grown a bad habit of staying up until 3am or so and sleeping in until noon. Which, I don't think there's anything really wrong with that, but I guess it can't be all too healthy. But hey, what does health matter in the long run? Oh yeah, a lot. Hurm.

You know, if this blog was a documentation of my collapse into insanity, that would be a pretty nice plot.

-Mottled

Let's go Slytherin.

I'm a dork, if you couldn't tell, and also a lover of the Harry Potter series. So I, like many others, have found my way to Pottermore, a website made by J.K. and based around the books. In it, you can go through the books in an interactive sort of way and also play a small selection of games to give your house House Points in effort to win the House Cup, along with a variety (though not a large variety) of other things. The site itself is very clean and polished, but my main complaint is it offers little to do. I would love a forum for it. I mean, sure they have posting boards for each house, but it goes so fast you can hardly make a conversation. And other than the games, there's very little to do.
But anyways, let's go Slytherin! We deserve to win the cup, anyhow.

-Mottled

Long time, no word

Well, not too long; but enough to make me upset with myself. I suppose now's a better time than any to write, though. So then...
I've finished a knitted hat yesterday, a black one with little ear flaps. It's fairly cute, I think, and I might add special details onto it at a later date. I've also started writing down all of my personal role playing characters, just for future usage.
The cleaners has been sweltering with summer's heat, and with no real air conditioning to count on it hasn't been the funnest. But, I finally brought a cup in today so I now have that going for me. No more crunching on ice, I can drink water now. Ta-ra indeed.
Forgive me for being so boring. I had better words to spit out earlier today, but I seem to have lost them somewhere along my way.

-Mottled

If I go to sleep now...

I could get just under my eight hours. But, I'm not tired. Phooey.
Today was an...okay day. I don't know, I feel off; just not quite sure what to think of myself at the moment.
Good night.

-Mottled

On Entry #59 and more

Marble Hornets is my favorite slender man series and has been something of a hobby for near two years. I love the fandom, though I usually just stalk it, and I usually stay up at nights when an entry is being posted to watch it.
Lucky for me, tonight was one such night and Entry #59 was posted (surprisingly at around 10 pm, usually they are posted at some god awful time) and I finished watching it with a smile. Or actually, by the end I was frowning. I hate the idea of Tim leaving for good, but I have hopes it's not so. I think that his Masky side will come out again, doing god knows what.
But seriously, I give props to Tim. He's right on a lot of things, Jay is to blame for a lot. It was, in some ways, careless. But for Tim's remark on who would care, well, we would! The viewers! And I hope Jay realizes that, because he's pulled us in too deep as is to just shoo us aside. Sort of an obligation, now, on and in-game sense of thought.
I'll talk more on it when I'm clear in the head. Regards,

-Mottled

Of knitting

I found myself some yarn and a little motivation today and started knitting for the first time in a while. I learned the trade when I was in 4th grade, so approximately ten years old, in an after-school program with my sister. At first and for some time afterwards, I was completely taken by it. I remember the first night after they gave us the yarn and needles, sending us home to practice garter stitch. I sat in bed using up all the little ball of yarn they gave us producing a misshaped, flank-like textile spotted with holes and dropped stitches; but it was a creation all by my own work, and at once I could see the prospects of knitting. I worked hard to master what I can do now, surpassing my sister when she dropped the habit, and creating things of my own design. Bookmarks, washcloths, hacky-sacks, scarves, hats, stuffed toys; a slew of each.
But eventually I grew bored of it, as with most things, and only tried when I had a serge of inspiration hit me (and usually tossed that after a day).
My grandma then, upon my request, tried to help me learn how to crochet. Tried. I failed miserably and despite a variety of books and videos, I can't manage to do much more than make a chain. It stung at first, but I've gotten over it. I still have the hopes to learn how, actually. Someday....eh....
Anyways, I'm knitting a hat with a little puff ball and the Operator insignia (Marble Hornets) on the side.

-Mottled

I have little to say today.

Stalking some role plays, hoping to join. Though I'm terribly shy of it.

-Mottled

Action leads to purpose?

The wind blows the delicious scent of fried chicken from the nearby KFC into the building of my work. It's horrible, just horrible.
In other news, I've really done nothing with my day. I think I ought to get a hobby or something. No idea what, though. All my old interests lost their sheen after a while. Knitting, forum role plays, drawing, bike riding; all of it. Though, I do have an idea for a role play I'd like to try, but I haven't been a part of a site for a month. Trying to find a nice one to join with no avail. Maybe I could continue my search tonight.

-Mottled

If I had unlimited power source...

Such as a Tesseract or something (my mind is still muddled with Avengers), I would make a contract for countries to sign. In exchange for all the energy they need, they would submit under my reign and loose their military rights. I would, of course, protect them from countries who aren't part of the great treaty because that would just be common etiquette. And if they ever had a little uprising or something, I would cut the wire on their power supply leave them to die or whatever. I don't think I'd be easy to oppose, having all the power I could ever need, though.
It's a noble idea, if you just look at it from the surface. Essentially, I'd be bringing peace (through force).
In other news, I want to go creeping about town in black contacts to spread the B.E.K. superstition. I love little paranormal things like that. Should talk more in depth of them some time...
Good night.

-Mottled

Forgive me.

A rotting corpse in body and mind,
a mottled carrion of a being,
isn't what I desired to be
but probably what I deserve.

Does this warrant a bit of sorrow?

The first person to text me in about three days was my mom's boyfriend. On accident. My mom also didn't believe me when I insisted I was invited to go out. Oh. Well then.
It was a fun time, anyhow. I watched The Avengers for the second time, though it was their first. I felt like giggling the whole time due to all the feels it gave me. Loki, what more can I say? That smile just gives me shivers. They seem to like Stark more, which is understandable. But Loki's mannerisms are just so...cool. I've been saving up a few gifs of him for storage. I could fangirl over it endlessly.
But I won't, I guess.
Hm, on that note, the rest of the day was just okay. I had to wash windows at work, which I hate doing because people can see you and they walk in and I worry if I should say 'hi' or anything and they watch me and it's just not fun. Plus I was alone to do it, and I'm a bad window washer. The day did go fast, though, and I felt accomplished by the end of it. So there's that.

-Mottled

I used to have a diary...

I never wrote in it.
The birds outside my window have hatched. So far I've only seen two of them stick their little heads up for food, so I'm not really sure if there is any more than that which lived. I wish I could take a picture from the top, but I'm worried getting that close might scare the mother to abandon them or something. If I do get a chance, I think I will.
Sorry for the day of silence, by the way. Not like it was that detrimental, I just forgot to write. I don't really know what to say about yesterday, just plain as ever. My friend left for a vacation, if anything, which isn't too much of a good thing for me.
I might be doing things with some friends tomorrow, if I can. Not sure if I really want to, but we'll see.
Fireflies are all over the place. I wonder, do they have them in Europe? Sorry.

-Mottled

Vacations really do end to soon

Or so it feels. I'm back and unfortunately burnt something horrible. Going to Water World without sunscreen isn't the best idea, but in my defense I remember being a tanner and not a burner when I was younger. But, I guess years of becoming a shut-in can change you in that respect. Water World was fun, though. And for some reason, I find myself loving the Lost River of the Pharaohs --a mummy themed raft ride-- despite how lax it was. Probably because I've always had a love for ancient Egypt and cheesy theme park rides; and the combo is just fantastic. I've never really been an extreme rides kind of person anyways, but I did manage to conquer a few of the scarier ones. This one that was a half pipe was okay, along with another that sent you skidding across the water. The only thing that really kept me from going on any of the dropping slides was my sister, who isn't a fan of heights.
Colorado itself always feels welcoming. I used to go there every summer to visit my cousins, but we haven't seen each other in a while due to circumstances. My cousins, all boys close to my age, are an okay group to get along with. They usually just hang with my two brothers, but I seemed to be fairly welcomed into the group this time. Which was a good thing, I feel.
Ugh, my sun burn has started to itch. I have work tomorrow, so I can only trust my body's healing abilities to get me ready for that. Until tomorrow.

-Mottled

And then I went to Colorado

On a trip with the dad and siblings, visiting my godparents. Nice to see them, been a few years since I've been to their place. So, it's good and kinda sad.
Their kids are all boys, so I just hang in the basement while my brothers go off with them. I don't know what to do, really. I've been reading, mostly, and listening to music. The Killers, bringing back the ghosts of car trips with the whole family listening to them and Lenny Kravitz.
Maybe tomorrow we'll do something of fun.
Or not.
I don't like trips with my dad very much.

-Mottled

These are a few

Besides a few strange dreams, nothing much happened this day. A normal day at work, save for the fact that I'm starting to feel more comfortable with the people there, and a boring day at home. Good, I guess. So why not write about good things? Or rather, things I like.

I like:

Clouds

Circuses

Puppies

Toads

Ghosts

Mesh

Runes

Mail

Dreams

Stuffed animals

Monsters

Food

Roof tops

Dragons

And then some.

01000010 01001001 01001110 01000001 01010010 01011001 00100001

I was brought into a sudden passion last night to learn binary. Turns out, it's not as difficult as I preconceived...so long as I have a calculator and key for what number means what (65=A, 99=c, so on). But, really quite fun. I thought it might be useful to know the basics as I'm taking a few computer classes next school year. I'm not sure how I feel about those, I don't know a lot about computers to start with and I always feel uncomfortable when I'm out of my element. But then again, what's a class for if not to teach you what you do not already know? So, high hopes for that.
I actually enjoy learning things, as bland as it sounds. There's something very satisfying in it, rewarding to know little tricks of trade and what have yous. Take for example my full grasp in runic writings. I can translate any sample into the English alphabet without hesitation, and I use runic for all my personal notes and musings. That is one downside to writing online. A block of runic text, I think, looks absolutely gorgeous and enchanting; lovely, really. However, on here others can see what I write and think, which has it's own lure.
Speaking of luring things, I fear anyone who picks up my Ipod would think of me a psychopath or something due to the podcasts I have on it. I've a lot on topics such as human experimentation, lobotomies, serial killers, pickpockets, spontaneous human combustion, various monsters and myths, and then some. Just things that peek my interest, I thought they do the same in all people. Do they?
Today was an okay workday. My timid attitude seems to put off some people, I hope they don't mistake it as being prude or anything.

-Mottled

And everything went better than expected

Today at work was just another training day, basically. My 'supervisor' (if you could call her that, I'm really just taking her place and she's moving up to the counter and what not) is a pretty chill person; I've known her before I got the job from marching band. Lame, sure, but give a pig a pancake, would you?
Anyhow, I followed her about the place to see what to do on a normal weekday. Made hangers, swept, vacuumed; the gist of cleaning. By the way, those paper dealies dry cleaners put on your hangers are harder to put on than they seem. Really, I suck at it. That's besides the point, though. I hope tomorrow is equally nice, if not better.
Yours.

-Mottled

Back and alive

I returned from my little trip this evening. It was alright, my legs are bruised from crawling through an indoor kids play place (a totally awesome one that was totally worth every bit). Now I really am mottled. Heh.
Anywho, the family and I ended up visiting some national park and the zoo. Each was fairly enjoyable -I adored the zoo the most-- though it was horridly hot. What can one expect, though. Out of all the animals at the zoo, I think I liked the grizzly bears or the goats the best. Or maybe the giant, fat toads, which were appealing in their own way.
Well, tomorrow I have work again. My third day on the job and first weekday; from then on I start normally. It makes my heart hurt to think about. Maybe I'm just extraordinarily lazy or sentimental or something of that sort, but I hate the thought of working the rest of my life. Not to mention that just about every time I go I mess something up. I should be grateful for my job, but being such an awkward person can make it embarrassing with anything I do. Oh well, maybe I can do better tomorrow. Hopefully.
Summer's bell has rang. The bats and fireflies have returned.

-Mottled

That bird.

She watches me while I sleep. Intently.
I haven't had a chance to check how many, but I'm certain eggs are up there. Every time I get a little bit close, she freaks out. I don't want to cause her to leave her nest behind, so I'll just keep an eye out from my window.
In other news, tomorrow my family and I head out on a vacation of sorts for Memorial Day. High hopes for that, so we'll see how that goes.

-Mottled

Of Repo and Dragons

My day went as planned; at approximately 4 o'clock my friend came over and we sat down in our un-carpeted den to watch REPO! The Genetic Opera over a bowl of over salted popcorn and debate over who the best male character was. Personally, I think Luigi Largo is the most fun and most humorous, but she likes Graverobber, who I must admit has his moments in my heart. His voice more than anything is addicting. Terrance Zdunich really is quite talented, I love the movie and the songs. If you haven't checked it out, go forth immediately to do so.

After that I continued to do laundry, a daunting and seemingly never ending task, and surfed through the internets some more. I'm now at about five or seven loads done, and I haven't even conquered the outer heap. So, I still have progress to be made, but I'm chugging along at a decent pace. On Dragon Cave I have yet to obtain any of the newest dragons. There is a total of three, all coastal I think, in celebration of the Cave's 6th birthday. They are the Tsunami Wyvern, Ultraviolet, and Lumina; my favorite of the bunch is the Tsunami one. Funny, I've been there loosely for about three years and only have a total of 44 dragons. Mind you, however, that each one is a different breed. Still, I find a joy in those types of things, and have always loved dragons. I'm trying to work myself slowly and carefully into the forum community they have going. So far, not going too well. Eh. Oh well.

That's all I have to say for today. If you'd like to help my little dragons, my scroll link is here. Have a good day, and enjoy your Memorial Day weekend, any of you American's out there. Until my next post.

-Mottled

If I don't post today, I'll never post again

Or so it usually works. You see, procrastination runs rampant in these veins, and if I slack off from the start there's little to no chance I'll feel up to picking this up again. But, that's besides the point now that I'm writing this. Okay then, onward.
Today was my last day of high school as a freshman, so fairly important. Well, not all that much. It doesn't really feel all that different, anyways. But what was I expecting, some sort of revelation of maturity. Nah, I have sophomores in most of my classes, and from my observation there isn't that much of a difference. But the end of a chapter always makes me want to go back and review. Glancing over this year, I'd give it a 4 out of 10. I've had to get a job, my social life (did I ever have one?) is nearly evaporated, my motivation is shot, and I've dropped a lot of the things I used to like. On the bright side, however, I guess I matured a little and got a further taste of what my future will be like. If that makes sense.
So here's to a great tomorrow, all of you.
And now that summer is upon me, I've taken to cleaning. Though I suppose it's more the fact that I want to have a friend over for a REPO! and The Twilight Zone marathon than it is summer's doing. So, I'm doing my whole room. Which I haven't cleaned since last year. That's not a hyperbole, by the way. It was really awful, it still is, and I've been working on cleaning it since 2 o'clock this afternoon. I've put in approximately 7 hours, used 3 jumbo trash bags, and still have a mountain of laundry to do and then some. But, it looks nicer. Just a word to the wise, keep your things as clean as you can at all times, it'll save you in the long run. I actually have a floor, but I'm not sure how good that will be for me. I like to jump off my bed you see (a bunk bed I share with my sister) and the heaps of clothes have always helped to soften the fall. Not now, I guess. I hate laundry.
Have a good night, and sorry to bore.
There's a bird nesting outside of my window, a robin. Perhaps I should start taking pictures of the progress. Could be interesting.

-Mottled

Introductions Are in Order

Hello entities of the internet, let me kick this off by saying thank you for reading. As of this moment, I'm the proud author of this my blog, Mottle's Open Journal and Then Some. A fitting title, mind you, because that's just what it is. I plan to spend a little time when I can to empty out my brain onto here and talk about a few things (the few things) I take interest in and or care about. This includes but is not limited to; the paranormal and anything creepy, my notes on the world around me, comics, shit, happy things, sad things, my own personal life,  random thoughts, and so on. If rants and ramblings aren't your style, oh well, I'm sorry, can't win 'em all, phooey.
Allow me this second, also, to apologize for the brevity of this. I plan to move onto real topics as soon as I can, so look forward. If you want, that is. Until then.

-Mottled