Summer's near end

In the actual sense, I don't mind it that much. The heat is overwhelming at times, and I love how Fall feels. If not for the start of school, that is. I'm really quite anxious about that.
I finished band camp this year. Went as expected; lonely, hot, and a little fun. Bu way.t it brings back to me the stark reality that school is only a week or so away. Lord help me, I think I'll cry when it comes. I don't want to go back there. It's almost as if everyone there has a personal grudge against me and they just want to see me die. Or maybe I just see it that way. I could be paranoid. But I don't want to go back. I'm too lazy for school. I'm to awkward for others. And you know, I was convinced I'd be dead by now. In 7th grade I doubted I'd make it to high school. Well take that, kid. Guess who's still breathing? Guess who's still doing nothing beyond that? Mhm, this girl. For now.
I don't know why. I just hate it there.

Anyhow, I guess I'll permit Fall to come this year. Here's to apple orchards, red leaves, Halloween, ghosts, jackets, full-length pants, farms, pleasant weather, and then some. It has a little while 'til it's actually here, but I can wait. I will.

-Mottled

Perth

So, I finished the picture for what I was planning. Making an Utauloid. A dragon anthro Utauloid, most importantly, and the first one I've ever tried to make. She's under the name Perth currently and I've actually got pretty far in her voicebank (English). Perth is the rune of luck, mystery, and chance; a fitting name as I'm taking a lot of guesses and I'm on foreign ground trying to create her. Having a few issues pop up here and there, but what-ev's. But yeah: I'm pretty much satisfied with how the picture turned out. We'll see how she'll actually sound later...
Here's to her success.

-Mottled

A few little words

But nothing that big, sorry. Just some things swimming around in this little head of mine.

I really like my friend. I would even go so far as to say that I love her. We've been friends for about three years now, which is fairly short I know, but it feels like our friendship as it was is already fading. I really want to talk to her about, well, about a lot of things. I guess I've sort of made her into some sort of counselor figure for myself, and I feel a little guilty for that. Heck, one could argue that the neglect I feel from not having the chance or guts to talk to her as I used to is all self inflicted and be totally right. I should recognize that she needs a chance to be with other people, and that I'm fairly boring as it is, and that others are a lot better friends, and so on. But, I digress.

What I'm trying to say is I feel pretty begotten. 

I can't shake the sense that things will only get worse in terms of my "social life" (God, the words sound so pretentious) as the next school year approaches. And with such haste it does! Summer is speeding on through as though it's a train hellbent for, um...where it is trains go when they beat it out of this "city". 

Hm...

In other news, I took it upon myself to start a little project. I hope to give word on it soon.

-Mottled

Can you read?

It's been a week, huh? Though flubbed internet is one of the reasons, I also have just been lazy. I've been feeling pretty off, too. I think I'll talk more in my next post, whenever that is. Have patience, friends. Until then, why not a scribbled poem or something...?

-Mottled
(This has just been a month for pictures, eh?)

Not good

The gash on the upper pad of my foot has turned black and is leaking some strange fluids, obviously infected, but I have nothing to treat it with besides too-big-for-their-own-good band-aids. Hurts to walk, man. It hurts.
I guess that besides that I'm doing okay. Going to take my permit test today, and between you and me I've only studied once. I'm hoping some luck and common sense will pull me through this.
...
Well, it did apparently. Now I feel like an official young lady. Why not a self portrait to celebrate?

Some might insist it's weird or too prideful to draw pictures of yourself. And screw them, 'cos I really like ot draw myself. Hmph.

-Mottled

Why are there nails in the hallway?

Band-aid save me, at least I'm up to date on my shots. Bled out a while ago, so it doesn't look all too impressive, sorry. Hope it doesn't get infected.
Oh, I also went for breakfast with my dad today. Never sure how to feel around him, but the least I can do is pretend to enjoy his company. And honestly, sometimes I do. But he can still manage to belittle us, which is just annoying and not very classy. Eh.
Have a good one, internet.

-Mottled

It comes as no suprise

Today has been rather lonely. In fact, the day before was as well. Going out on a limb, but I'm guessing tomorrow will be, also. Hm. One thing I am sure of is that I'll have to ride my bike to work tomorrow, so I hope the weather is kind.
I don't really mind riding my bike. In a way, it makes me feel a bit grown up, riding downtown and all. Though a real grown up would have a car and a license, I can pretend. Pretend I'm off in Chicago like during the band trip, or when I was a kid and went there for a vacation. I loved the place, though I think I've mentioned that before.
Sometimes I feel really inhuman, between you and me. Or rather, like I'm not in charge of my life at all, like I'm just floating through it (in a not-so-good sense of it).
I think I'll wait until 2 am or maybe 3 and then sit outside some. I like to be outside late at night alone. But that stays between you and me.

-Mottled